Love, on the Grinch hand holding mask 2020 stink stank stunk shirt moreover I love this other hand is devotion to a person, a commitment to act in ways that are for the best of the other person, an inexplicable drive to comfort, protect, and serve another, to tend to another person in order to nurture them and their growth. Love is what makes you see the very best in someone, even when it is a tiny percentage of that person.I love my narc still, regardless of his abuse and betrayal. It’s not a trauma bond, because when I got him out of the house, I wasn’t lost. Not this time. I didn’t wander around not knowing who I was without him, nor was I tempted to let him return. That doesn’t mean I’m not sad about him. I’m sad for him. He had it all. Not to sound arrogant, but he had a wife and kids that everybody envied. He had love and a real home, with comfort, care and support. But he couldn’t help himself. He had to fuck around with other women. He had to sabotage himself. He had to betray those that loved him in favor of a little novelty. That’s sad. When I don’t hate him, I feel so sorry for him that I cry. Lastly, when I’ve had to take him to court and take action to protect myself, I felt like shit. I didn’t want to sit in court and tell what he’s done. I hated it. And I’m not done having that responsibility. It was a terrible choice to hurt him to save myself. But the part of him that I love is not in control. I can’t live with that. I feel like I’m abandoning him. Before I got wise, I thought I could keep the good side out, keep him free from his own demon. But I couldn’t. So I had to leave him to the demon. I now know that the demon is who we deal with, the one in control. They chose that!
Sadly, there are only a few memories that I would say definitely showed his real Self, in 18 years. But those few are real too. So now I just tell myself that the Grinch hand holding mask 2020 stink stank stunk shirt moreover I love this good side is gone, dead to me, descended forever. I hate to leave him like that. But what can I do? He can’t fight his own demons, there’s no way I can. By feeling the hurt the happiness and allowing myself to allow the acceptance and give forgiveness and remind me , I love me when no one else would or has..That truly noone knows my heart and the true intentions I intend, and those moments that it was my arms I felt around myself, how could I possibly not love something about the one person that’s always known the truth , the deepest of all of me. No, I get it. I’ve tried it. And at the time, it seemed like a smart plan. But to deny your feelings is to cut off a part of yourself, and the longer you persist the more debilitating it becomes. You can’t bury just one feeling; before long, you’ve buried them all. You become disconnected. Please don’t put yourself through that. It’s a long journey back. Instead, be honest and let everything play out. The people we love won’t always be able to love us back in the way that we want, but that doesn’t make that feeling any less true or valuable. Honor your feelings, carry them with you, and trust that the world needs every little bit of love that we have to give. How hard you try to be nice and compassionate, the past resurfaces and it forces you to be rude with people who are actually good. It haunts you every single day, every new person that you meet reminds you of your first love. Every single thing that he does reminds you of the way your love used to do it. Normal things hurt more, things which you would’ve otherwise ignored or understood.